Do you ever just sit there and think “I’m not going to cry” and then someone asks what’s wrong and THEN TEAR FORMS AND YOU THINK “FUCK” and start bawling.
Honestly, if someone leaves your life, let them. No matter how important they maybe, if they don’t see the value in you why should you save value for them. If they aren’t going to think about how you feel, then they aren’t worth the time, or the effort to keep that spot available just for them. That spot in your life is more worthy than they will ever be, and if they think they can easily come back in your life, you should tell them to fuck off. No one deserves to be treated like second choice, rebound friend, etc.
In the end of the day, life moves on, they’ve moved on, and so should you. You can’t drown yourself in the past hoping it’d be the same, because that will get you no where. If they’re having a good life without you, you will have a better life without them.
I just want your hand to hold, your arms to wrap around me, your lips on my lips, your body against my body. I crave for your touch and affection.
But I know better that it won’t mean anything to you, so whatever.
When someone makes an insult it’s easy to brush it off and go “fuck you” but when your parent says something so casually and not in a joking manner it actually fucking hurts. Thanks for basically telling me I’m a shitty person.
It sucks, I’m still waiting for that moment you’ll tell me you feel some sort of way for me, that you find me cute. I’m still waiting for you to acknowledge me even though I know that won’t happen.
How stupid am I to fall for you even though I knew better. I knew I deserved better, and they all told me. But I wanted to not believe you’d be the same as every guy I knew. I wanted to believe that maybe you weren’t about the “fuck and chuck” life anymore, and I respected the fact that you didn’t want a relationship right now. I respected the fact you didn’t feel anything for me,
I just thought maybe you would. Idk how stupid of me. Always being fucking stupid and thinking there’s more to people. I wanted to get to know you,
I hadn’t felt anything towards someone in a long time. I enjoyed the times you cuddled me even though it meant nothing to you, and when you caressed my face before kissing me, even though it meant nothing to you.
I just enjoyed your company, and I wanted your company. But in the end I just got fucked over once again. Idk when I’ll ever be enough for someone.
Honestly we may not live in a time where Hitler reigns anymore killing innocent Jews, but we still live in a time where innocent black people are getting killed. How fucked up is society, we should be in a time that thinks of each other equally, regardless of skin color, race, religion, homosexuality. It’s like we take one step forward and 2 steps backward. America gets a black president and an innocent unarmed black man gets shot EIGHT fucking times. Not even once, but 8. How disgusting. Seriously, why are black people still being targeted in everything they do. Racism is disgusting, and the police system is corrupt and offensive.
It started out as a crush, you were cute and I had a crush on you. A fangirl type of crush but now it sucks, I constantly want to talk to you. I constantly get excited when you text me, and I constantly want to know how your day is going. How work is going for you, and how you are. I just want to know about you, know things you’ve done before, I just want to know you. I don’t know, I’m seriously starting to like you, and you feel nothing towards me. And it just sucks that I’m feeling that way, and you’re not.
I swear I’m to fucking nice. I always end up cheering up those who fucked me over rather than cheering myself up. I always forgive so easily, and never have the guts to truly bitch someone out who deserves to be bitched out. I act like I can do it, but when it comes down to it, theres a limit to my bitching out before I contradict myself and tell them it’s okay. I don’t know, I’m just too fucking nice.
The more I think about what happens the more I feel stupid, I know they say “no one is going to judge what you did” but in the end even I’m judging myself. It’s like I’m the only one who ended up getting affected the most, I guess I deserved it though. Shouldn’t have happened, shouldn’t happen ever again.
It’s sad how I know I’m wasting my time on you, but I continue to like you. I know you won’t like me back, but I continue to like you with the hope that maybe you’ll wake up and think of me first like I think of you first. It’s crazy to say, but I just want you mine. I’m not rushing to be in any sort of relationship, but I just wish the feelings were mutual or growing to be mutual because I would be so happy. But a girl can dream I guess.
I’m so fucking down with people playing with my feelings. Like people think it’s okay to just get me attached and then leave, stop talking to me. Saying they want to be friends, yet treat me like a stranger. Sorry I want to continue talking to you, sorry I can’t stop liking you. You’re obviously doing fine with out me though, being able to not have a conversation with me, not even opening my messages. I know you see my message, I know it’s right there, unopened just sitting here giving you one notification. Sorry I’m so easy to ignore. You want to be friends? since when was ignoring and being inconsiderate being a good friend? I didn’t leave you one bit, and you just left. Out. I’m so sick of people, I care for people to fucking much. I care for how people feel to fucking much, when is it my turn to care for myself? I never do, and put aside my feelings for other people. Well where the fuck are you when I need someone. Ikfhgjrkghrkeg I hate feelings I hate getting attached, I hate everything about it, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about it either. I can’t stop my feelings, cause they have their own mind. I fuqing hate people sometimes. You. yeah I like you, but if you continue being an asshole don’t expect me to stay around much longer, feeling wise and friend wise at the way you are treating me. I’m not gonna put up with it, I need to think about me.
DONT BE FUCKING CUTE ONE NIGHT AND THEN IGNORE ME KFGJHREKJGUERKGER UGH GKIHREKLGJERKLGER OMG.
this is really unorganized thoughts. lol.
Turn my main tumblr into a picture/reblog blog. Any written post are under “thoughts” hashtagged as “ohaaai” ok.